There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
