I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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