I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
