All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
