Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
