I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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