I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
