I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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