we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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