Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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