College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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