I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I wish there were birth control emojis
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have fence marks all over my body
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
