just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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