Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
