No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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