what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
