you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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