i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
