she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Come on in and take your pants off
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