his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize