she woke up with a sticky ear
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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