I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
tell me about the eggs
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
