I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
God, I missed his penis.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
