i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
