Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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