i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
