My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
