I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
