So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
