I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just tell him i said nine months
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".