Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"