i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza