paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want