Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm

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  (337): you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm http://tfl.nu/y579
  Replies (27) Good night (7630) Bad night (1246)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.

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  (541): woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue. http://tfl.nu/skao
  Replies (13) Good night (4833) Bad night (3582)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again

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  (816): That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again http://tfl.nu/xxfj
  Replies (68) Good night (13224) Bad night (2589)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.

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  (352): Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot. http://tfl.nu/hytm
  Replies (6) Good night (3949) Bad night (1276)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.

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  (248): like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life. http://tfl.nu/wwre
  Replies (3) Good night (3170) Bad night (1125)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!

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  (803): There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED! http://tfl.nu/9ss0
  Replies (5) Good night (1758) Bad night (1221)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids

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  (970): Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids http://tfl.nu/uov9
  Replies (4) Good night (957) Bad night (2328)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.

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  (604): i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper. (1-604): please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night. http://tfl.nu/j80d
  Replies (11) Good night (5632) Bad night (1302)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.

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  (623): By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us. http://tfl.nu/p1x8
  Replies (12) Good night (1509) Bad night (725)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  God bless us, everyone.

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  (228): I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!" (601): God bless us, everyone. http://tfl.nu/p8dj
  Replies (2) Good night (1256) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.

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  (970): We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest. http://tfl.nu/w1i7
  Replies (16) Good night (2747) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.

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  (715): The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots. http://tfl.nu/aoap
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the mantra for Sunday?

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I will not have sex with him.

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  (502): What's the mantra for Sunday? (606): I will not have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/xixk
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts

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  (530): as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts http://tfl.nu/n21e
  Replies (3) Good night (974) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.

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  (832): I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie. http://tfl.nu/pzlb
  Replies (0) Good night (316) Bad night (435)

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