Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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