its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
