At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
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I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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