I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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