i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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