I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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