Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
