That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
