So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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