You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
