dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
