ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize