We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize