Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize