That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
