Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
