So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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