After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
