At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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