Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
