Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
