So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I supernannyed him into submission
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize