using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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