I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize