with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
