tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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