I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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