Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
