i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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