12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
