What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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